Building a strong family

Published at January 08, 2019 12:38 AM 0Comment(s)2196views


Samiya Gul

Allah Ta’ala’s most beautiful and most wonderful creation is a “Woman”. The girl, woman, daughter, wife, mother, aunt, grandmother, all the different roles, different responsibilities has to be performed by you ‘Woman’.

There is high need of today’s woman folk to realize the importance of themselves so that they can accomplish their responsibilities properly. They can only take good care of her responsibilities as a slave of Allah, as a mother, wife and sister, when she herself is in a sound physical, emotional and spiritual health.

How can a woman give happiness to her children, husband and parents when she herself is not physically, emotionally and spiritually fit? She has to be fit in all aspects.

Nobody is perfect and no one can be. But we can strive or struggle towards what we call as near to perfection. Otherwise she will be a burden on her husband, children and parents.

Therefore, one must take “Me Time” from her daily schedules in which she will take care of her physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Don’t ever neglect yourself.

For physical wellbeing, we ladies should take healthy foods rather depending on traditional and conventional dishes, do workout and exercises and if there is lack of modesty in visiting nearby gym centers, we can rely on indoor workouts at our home.

For emotional and spiritual health, we should engage ourselves in Salah and Zikr and that can help us to build a relation with Allah Ta’ala.

Emotionally women are weak, so the common problems that encounter us are anger, stress or depression and we usually express all this on the people who are not even accountable for it.

The most common fault in womenfolk is their expression of anger on their children, their parents or siblings. We all have problems. No one is without problems. We can take the example of our Mothers, Khadhija (RA), Fatima (RA), Aisha (RA), Maryam (AS), Asiya (AS), they all have different difficulties, tests from Allah Ta’ala.

 But with the firm belief and supplications, they all passed their tests so similarly, we must believe that every calamity or disorder in our lives is a blessing from Allah.

Whatever is from Allah SWT, it is for the betterment of ourselves. If Allah SWT showers us through pain, patience and hardships, it raises our status. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:“When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes,” (At- Tirmidhi).

SubhanAllah! How beautiful is this Hadith. May Allah ta’ala grant us this tawfeeq. Every time and everywhere we should have long term vision is to build our Akhirah even in the bad situations. We should not get depressed and listen to the whispering of Shaitaan that “why is this happening to me.”

With the giving up our lives and depression, we leave Salah, even we don’t turn towards Allah SWT to seek His help and mercy. We leave dua and ultimately feel worthless which can even lead to major sins.

Therefore, it is very important to become emotionally and spiritually strong and accept what is happening and hold on to Allah SWT, whatever the situation is. It is only you who has to do good for yourself and then only you can do best for others.

One of the most essential responsibility in today’s world where there is everything from Google, is conscious parenting. Parenting is considered as most under rated job these days, but it is most rewarding job a Muslim woman can have.

Parents have a special status in Islam, which is for good reasons. That is why the holy Quran rejects even a hesitating “uff” inform of the parents.

Moreover, among parents, a mother has a special status that is as three times from the Hadith. The mother’s lap is the first school for a baby therefore conscious parenting from a woman is foundation for building a strong family and subsequently a society of high moral values.

Conscious parenting means being aware and conscious of the way, which a mother has chosen for parenting a child. It is not necessary that the way our parents brought us up will be 100 percent ideal for raising the kids of our generation.

With new generations, there are always new challenges and parents should be well aware of these challenges and the way to deal with them. 

As a Muslim woman, we should be confident in our roles and identities and never underestimate ourselves with respect to western standards. As it is said, “one good mother is worth a hundred school masters.”

Because this where the learning begins. The first and foremost quality as a mother to inculcate is quality of love. Even when the child challenges disciplinary actions, a mother has to ensure to correct with proper Akhlaaq, so that the child build confidence in his/her mother’s teachings.

With cellphone and social networking options, which have inherent addiction, it is difficult to remain disciplined always in front of the children. For this, many mothers find it difficult to find it hard to act like perfect all time even in their cozy homes.

However, changing for the betterment of children and family will have reward in this work and hereafter. With little efforts, Allah SWT will ease it and this will become a habit to follow.

In conclusion, a woman has got a numerous responsibilities which can be fulfilled when she focuses on developing herself in every field. All her roles are like a new career for her and if she could do it with perfectly, she will be rewarded in this duniya and hereafter.

Muslim woman especially from Indian subcontinent mostly stuck to traditions and try to get solutions following their peers and surrounding people.

But remember, the challenges with everyone are different, therefore one must seek knowledge from Islamic as well as secular sources to excel in every role of life, be it as daughter, wife or mother. The society will prosper when good families are built by pious and knowledgeable woman.

Author is a research scholar based in Durban, South Africa

 

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